May 03 2013
HOW TO BE A PIRATE: 5 Rules to Becoming a Pirate
Ahoy! So, ye think ye be wantin’ to know what it takes to be a pirate? Well, then, matey, lend me yer ear. I'm about to be tellin' ya the business of a buccaneer. 1. First rule of piratin'! You’d better learn to sail! No self-respectin' pirate shall be spendin' all their time with the landlubbers. No, me hearty. The call of the sea is in the heart of every pirate who ever swashed a buckle. If you don't sail yerself, join up with a crew from time time to get yerseafarin' fix. 2. Second rule of piratin'! Talk like a pirate, yar! Be rollin' yerRrrrrr's and droppin' yer G's. And, be learnin the venacular me hearties. Instead of "hello", be sayin', "ahoy"! Instead of "yes", say "aye", or "aye, aye". Instead of "holy cow", be sayin', "shiver me timbers"! Instead of "friends", be sayin' "maties" or "hearties". 3. Third rule of piratin'! Be dressin' like a seadog. Yar, forget yer khaki pants and yer sneakers. Don a bandana, leather leggings and boots. Maybe ye have a shiny hook for a hand. Tie back yer hair with rings of gold or beads from faraway islands. Wear a patch over yer eye, and burn fire out the good one! Aye, and be getting a tattoo of a mermaid or the Jolly Roger, for good measure. 4. Fourth rule of piratin'! Get ya a fearsome parrot to repeat yer threats and demands. Aye, or, maybe a vicious monkey with an eyepatch. If ye be living with a cat, make it a black one with a pirate hat. Remember, maties, man's best friend be the breeze at his back. But, if yer a dog lover, be makin' sure yer dog be a salty one! 5. Fifth and last rule of piratin'! Never lose yer treasure map. Aye, ye may be gettin' drunk on the rum from time to time. Or, ye may find yerself locked in combat outnumbered by scalliwags. But, no matter the circumstance ye may encounter, be holdin' on to the map where ya buried yer treasure. Remember, me hearties, X marks the spot! We will see you on board the Sea Dragon. The lure of your pirate adventure awaits!